How to talk to your partner about money

Bite-Size Read:

• Part of getting better with money means including your partner in the conversation but 68% of us would rather reveal our weight than our finances.
• Talking about money can feel uncomfortable but having this conversation will support you to have a healthier relationship with each other and with your money.
• We have prepared 10 questions to support you to talk to your partner about money.

 

We all know that it’s important to talk about money.

But many of us don’t include our partner in that conversation. When surveyed, 68% of us would rather reveal our weight than the amount in our savings account.

 

We avoid talking about money because it feels uncomfortable.

The issue is that if you choose to live together as a de facto couple or get married, your partner will have rights to your money. You’ll also potentially be liable for any debt they are carrying.

To avoid nasty surprises, you need to have the money talk. Start by setting up a time and place in which you’ll both feel comfortable to have the conversation. This could be dinner at home or out at a restaurant or outside in the garden with a cool drink. When you’re sitting comfortably, get ready to follow our top 10 tips on how to talk to your partner about money.

 

 

 

Here’s 10 questions to help you talk to your partner about money: 

 

 

 

1. What did you learn about money from your childhood?

This includes what you learned about money from school and from conversations about money at home with your parents.

 

 

 

2. What was your first job and what did you learn from it?

This is a good way of showing what you learned when earning your own money for the first time.

 

 

 

3. What scares you about money?

Asking about someone’s fears will help show their vulnerabilities and what drives them when it comes to money.

 

 

 

4. If you won a million dollars in the lottery what would your first purchase be?

A scenario question can be a great way of revealing someone’s financial priorities.

 

 

 

5. What is your current net worth?

This is a pointy question that you’ll need up build trust to ask. It will however help you establish each other’s financial baseline before you consider combining your finances.

 

 

 

6. How do you budget your money each month?

Your partner may not have a formal budget in place but will likely have an answer to this question. If the answer is no system at all, this might be something you could support them to introduce to help manage their money.

 

 

 

7. Do you have debt and how are you managing it?

If you live with someone long-term, you could become liable for their debts. Knowing what those debts are before you make that commitment is essential before they become yours.

 

 

 

8. What goals are you working towards?

Knowing your partner’s goals is important so that you can support them to reach their goals. For example, if they’re trying to save money, you can start cooking more at home together and save money on your grocery bills.

 

 

 

9. What do you want your financial future to look like in 5, 10 and 20 years’ time?

This question sets out a vision for their life in the future. You can then discuss how to plan to financially support and afford that vision.

 

 

 

10. What legacy do you want to leave behind?

Your legacy is the impact you create and leave behind in the world when you die. Discussing and planning your legacy ensures you start shaping what this impact will be.  

One of the best things about having a partner is having someone to celebrate your wins with.

That includes reaching your goals because you can afford to make life choices to make them a reality. Having conversations about money can improve the quality of your relationship and know what you’re taking on before you combine your finances with your partner. Choose to make healthy communication choices by starting to talk to your partner about money.